SATURDAY, JULY 21: I continue to feel very low. I miss Madeleine so much. It’s as if a ray of light has disappeared from my life. There’s no doubt that Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words can say.
We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain?
My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord? My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate being without you.
(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)
If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read “Mog” in the living area and then “if you’re happy and you know it”. We all sat down on your bed.
Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages…always laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX