WEDNESDAY, JULY 25: I received some bad news last night. A friend has breast cancer and has just received her first dose of chemotherapy following surgery. Horrible. I will include her in my prayers.
At around 15.30 I went for a run. I had begun to feel restless and worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work, but I felt better for having gone.
We returned at around 18.15—the children’s dinner and baths, our dinner.
(and the children’s once again!).
Madeleine, sweetheart, you are the most important thing, the only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone, sad and incomplete I feel.
I will continue to hope and pray that you come back to us soon but I don’t want to think about how good it would be to feel something like that—not yet, at least.
I love you so, so much darling. I remember sitting watching you through the glass window when you were having your swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you were with your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears rolled down my face!
I was and am still so proud of you, Madeleine, and my love for you is never-ending. I can’t stop saying how much I love you dearly. I’m going to try and stay strong for you and you have to do the same. You know we love you and we are going to keep going until we find you again.
All my love, Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well. May God protect you. XXXXX.