Category Archives: Kate’s Diary

News of the World – Kate’s Diary

The News of the World published Kate’s Diary in their newspaper on Sunday September 14, 2008.

For the first time, the heartbreaking truth that destroys the lies of the Portuguese police

notw-diaryBy Daniel Sanderson, 13/09/2008

TODAY we reveal the secret diary of agonised mum Kate McCann’ penned over months as she and husband Gerry struggled to deal with their daughter Madeleine’s abduction.

Her words destroy the litany of lies told by Portuguese cops to paint them as cold and calculating. Kate wrote: ‘I can’t bear being without Madeleine. It’s like torture? a slow painful death.?

  • FOR months the Portuguese police leaked carefully selected extracts from Kate McCann’s secret diary, chosen to deliberately paint her and husband Gerry as the ice couple? cold, dispassionate and emotionless in the face of three-year-old Madeleine’s abduction.
  • Now, for the first time, the News of the World can fill in the blanks and nail those lies. The 135-page journal covering April 28, 2007 to Tuesday, July 31, was passed to us by a reporter in Portugal appalled by the sickening smear campaign against the McCann’s.
  • Kate’s log of the dark days after Madeleine vanished from their holiday flat reveals the true picture of the tortured woman behind the calm, brave face she had to portray in public, as initial disbelief and numbness gave way to desperation and rage. Often she includes touching messages of love to her missing daughter. It confirms the strength Kate drew from her devout Catholic faith’ and frankly admits the doubts the trauma forced her to face.

THE entry for the fateful day Madeleine McCann vanished ‘May 3, 2007’ makes chilling reading in her mother’s diary, because it started out so NORMAL.

Mum-of-three Kate, 40, records that it began much like any other since the family arrived at the Mark Warner Ocean Club in Praia da Luz on Portugal’s Algarve coast’ one long, happy round of swimming, tennis, kids? club, games and fun.

But knowing what is about to befall them turns Kate’s simple account of the children’s evening bedtime routine into a tense drama…

Comments from the online article on NOTW website

I believe Madleine will be found and I believe she is still alive. God knows exactly where she is. Kate and Gerry you need to pray to Jesus. I have read lots about God and Mary that you have written, but nothing about Jesus. He is the only intersesser between God and man. Read Eph: in your Bible.
Read God’s word. It is our hand book, it has answers to every life situation. I really believe that Madeline is alive and you will find her.

By D. Theiss Canada. Posted ??????? 15 2008 at 5:07 ??????????.


Shut the **** up all you nasty nasty people! So what that she kept a diary, went for a run, washed her teddy, didnt realise her little children could talk. She is a mum that has had the worst thing happen to her and her family. She is innocent of any wrong doing. Stop looking at ******** tit bits to pick on and read into. The poor ******* kid is gone! Imagin if it was yours, how many skelitons are you hiding cause they will dig deep to find the tiniest bit of dirt to condem you. She is heartbroken and will never ever be the same. The other kids will have a **** life becasue mum and dad are now just shells. Let it go about leaving her kids, she did it, not much she can do now and I am sure she would die to take that night back. Ease up! Karma back on all you horrible people that are making more out of Kate and Gerry than there is! They have lost a kid, how, nobody will ever know but it is not Kate and Gerry who hurt her! Go easy becasue god help you if it happened to you. And SHUT UP all you do gooders that say ‘ I have never left my kids, kids club they never saw them! WHATEVER! All families are different!
Danielle – Australia
PS Kate and Gerry – You poor souls, mate I wish everyone could help but its just a terrible situation.

By Danielle. Posted September 15 2008 at 4:29 AM.


You people who can’t see the fact that these people have searched high and low for there little girl just sicken me. Mistakes do happen, yes i agree it was a big mistake but can’t you all just help find that little girl rather than just ranting and raving about what they should have done! I hope that none of you are ever in the same situation as the McCann’s as clearly you wouldn’t have the calmness & peace of God that the McCann’s hold.

We are always praying for you Kate & Gerry and i’m sure i am only one of thousands and thousands that will forever help you in your search for Maddie.

By Val O’Shea. Posted September 15 2008 at 3:45 AM.


I remember watching GMTV when they announced that a little girl had gone missing in Portugul, I have followed the story ever since, I now live in Australia where Maddie is mentioned somtimes on the news. I look at every little girl to see if I can find Maddie, I hope and pray that one day she will be found safe & sound.
Dear Kate & Gerry try to stay strong, people never give up hope of finding your little girl, I search for her everytime I see a little girl that is around Maddies age.

Sarah x

By sarah. Posted September 15 2008 at 2:20 AM.


Yes Kate we have heard all your ******** please do not forget about your nIght’s after dInner at the TAPAS you then went to CHAPLINS for happy hour
but of course you have A very select memory
let me remInd you MW Staff had to come and fInd
you as your babIes were cryIng agaIn and CHAPLINS Is A 5-6 mInutes away from the MW Complex you heartless cow THiS iS FACT

By R R Dench. Posted September 15 2008 at 2:26 AM.


To Lisa,

We should call her MIMI. It’s her diary idiot, look up DIARY in the dictionary since you obviously have no clue what it is used for.

And to Katie,
Get over it???Move on with your life???She didn’t lose a cat or a dog, she lost a daughter and she has no clue where she is. She has no closure.

And to all of you who have written nasty comments: you are all vile people who have not one ounce of humanity in you.

By nathalie. Posted September 15 2008 at 12:34 AM.


I have very deep sympathies with all concerned in this nightmare but mainly with poor little Madelaine.

I cannot help but feel something is missing with this diary – feeling. ‘please God’ ‘I miss you so much’ ‘I love you’ are all easy things to write but the raw detailed emotion seems missing to me – bear in mind that she did not think this diary would enter the public domain so she could be frank.

There is also little evidence of self-blame – any parent or indeed anyone at all that has ‘lost’ someone would quite often blame themselves even if they had nothing whatsoever to do with it – did I cause my child to run in front of the car because I wasn’t watching him? etc

Furthermore someone comments above about what dedicated parents they are reading etc with their children however how did she not know her own daughter could string a simple sentence together?

Just a final point – if this had happened to me I cannot imagine that my children would still be attending ‘kids club’ I would not want them out of my sight for a single second never mind a whole morning or afternoon etc – surely they could have employed a nanny (to work alongside them during the day) or got help from family members?

By Jenny. Posted September 15 2008 at 12:42 AM.


I think of Maddie and her parents often and check the Sun for progress. Any parent knows how rewarding and tireing bringing up a family is, but it’s the best thing on this earth! Sure we all need our time out especially on holiday and the McCanns are professionals. You would think the apartment would be a safe haven having so many families going on these adventures. I hope one day a miracle will happen, they are all in my prayers.

By Pammy Philips. Posted September 15 2008 at 12:48 AM.


Poor, poor wee Maddie .. and poor twins too .. some family holiday that was being dumped in the Kid’s Club from 9am til it shut at tea-time albeit with a break for lunch.

It’s clear to me the McCann’s could not be bothered with their children .. well, not enough to want to spent much quality time with them .. why take children on a Family holiday to leave them in a creche for the best part of the day ?

I think it’s despicable the way those kids were left alone unsupervised at night .. it was NOT ‘ like dining in your own back garden ‘ .

My heart goes out to that lovely wee girl and what she suffered through no fault of her own.

By Maureen L. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:09 PM.


i miss her so much in my heart

By mandie . Posted September 14 2008 at 10:15 PM.


I’m sorry but is she a friend or relative of yours- if not what are you on about?!

By tania. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:14 PM.


Some readers seem to believe that the McCanns simply made a “mistake” by leaving their three tiny toddlers alone in a foreign apartment while they went out on the lash.

Is it a “mistake” when you do something you know to be wrong, and which you know can have disastrous consequences and YET you still go ahead and do the very thing you know to be wrong?

That’s no mistake. It’s negligence.

By Laurel. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:28 PM.


They left 3 children alone, they could have lost them all!!!
They have to live with that and when those 2 twins grow up they will know what happened that night also.
I can’t imagine the pain that family is going through though an I can only hope that Maddie is found safe and well.

By Sam. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:36 PM.


To the McCanns – I, like many others here, feel for your sorrow and unhappiness and wish dear, sweet, little Madeline be brought back to you well and safe…

To the commenters – Many of you have a lot of hang-ups about the McCanns education status, I guess this is due to your own lack of one. It does not matter whether they be a doctor, teacher, professor or sat at home doing nothing living on benefits.what matters is that their child is missing and they love her dearly! Who cares about their background?!? Some vile person took their child away and that is the real issue here…they do not need to be penalised left, right and centre over and over again about a mistake! They need support and to feel that their baby girl is safe and will come back to them…have a heart and stop commenting on their wine, tapas and enjoyment..most people leave their children alone every day in all sorts of situations and to go on and on about is quite boring!
To all of you who commented about their irresponsibilities despite them being DOCTORs…are they notn responsible for YOU every day of their lives when at work..I think they deserved that evening treat and the person who took Madeline is the one to BLAME not THEM….

By teacherteacher. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:43 PM.


Whatever the issues surrounding leaving her kids, surely the most important things that kate had to do in the aftermath of losing Maddie, was to keep herself sane and not crumble under the pressure of the grief, the guilt, the media attention etc. She needed to do that for Maddie’s sake, because of the incompetant police and for her other two children. What possible use could it have been in the search for Madie to have become some sort of gibgering wreck?

Many of us would not have been able to manage that degree of stress. Others of us that might have coped would have used different methods. Massive, extreme stress is incredibly difficult to deal with. Don’t criticise Kate for keeping a diary, or for going running, or for drinking a couple of glasses of wine, or for looking too ‘detached’. Its her way of keeping herself sane. She knows she can’t crumble, though it must be so hard.

I applaud her for keeping it together in the most awful situation that anyone can imagine. I’m not sure I could have done it. Her demeanour and her actions may **** some people off, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t care – far from it. It means that she knows what her priorities are and that she needs to continue to be a functioning human being so that if there is any way she can affect the outcome of Maddie coming back, then she is there enough to do it. Also that her twins have a mother.

i gues hopes are fading, but I do so much hope that there is good news soon

By Anna. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:45 PM


i miss her so much in my heart

By mandie . Posted September 14 2008 at 10:15 PM.


There but for the grace of God go I.

By Andy Church. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:48 PM.


By her own admission, Kate washed “cuddle cat.”Why do this, when she has stated that she believes the “abductor” moved this-thereby removing any probable traces of the “abductor’s” DNA.

I am not implying guilt, or out for any witchunt; I just cannot understand why she should contaminate possible evidence.

By DAVID CRISP. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:31 PM.


Leave them alone….please!! Have they not and are they not suffering enough?? I simply cannot understand all of these hateful, sarcastic, sick messages from those of you so hellbent on ripping Kate & Gerry to pieces. ANY publicity to bring Madeleine back, to remember her & continue to look for her is necessary and important. I feel such sadness for the McCann family, but we must all remain strong and vigilant. God bless you Madeleine. God bless all of the McCanns. So sure that one day very soon you will be reunited, but until that day comes continue to hope, continue to pray and love one another knowing that you will be complete again. xxx

By Alana. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:12 PM.


all these negative comments on here, how dare u all, yes the mcCanns made a mistake leaving maddie and the twins by them self, do u not all think they will regret that everyday for the rest of there lives, all that matters is finding maddie not whos to blame, Some piece of SCUM out there knows excatly where she is. Hopefully maddie will be found soon and safe i have a little boy whos nearly 3 if anything was to happen to him i would never forgive myself! All the mcCanns want is to keep Maddie in the public eye and not to be forgotten Do you all really think that is really a bad thing!!!!! My thoughts are with you at this horrible time.

By Dani. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:10 PM.


My mother told me she was left as a small child at 4yrs old and a brother at 3yrs old and it ruined her life. When I got to teenage years she told me she counted the steps my gran would make up the stairs and when she never opened the door she would start to count again 1,2,3,4,5, no door would open 1,2,3,4,5 no door would open. till she fell a sleep. She became agraphobic and was on valuim for years. tried to commit suicied at 50yrs and remained ill for the reat of her life. thats what been left alone did.

By gillian cameron. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:58 PM.


How crule of those so called perfect parents to make such hurtful comments, have they never ever left their child/children for one monent. I hope and pray that they never have to go throught the same as the Mccann family,and who are they to make such judgement’s. To Kate and Gerry and their two other children keep you’re faith and always remember there are people in this world who will keep you all in their thoughts and pray’s and pray for the safe return of you’re little girl maddie.

God Bless you all

By Sue Collins. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:43 PM.


Every morning I put on the television hoping to see that they have found Madeline and I think of this in every prayer.For some reason I still feel that this can happen.

By Dr K.Rukmani. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:30 PM.


I am so ashamed of most of u who have left negative comments!!! how can u blame kate and gerry.. have none of u ever left ur child in bed while you hang out the washing or put the bin out?? I really do hope we find madeleine it would totally make my life!!! stay strong kate and gerry!! and please ignore all the morons that have nothing better to do than pull people down xx

By Hayley. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:05 PM.


Praying that Maddie can find her way home soon, thoughts go to her parents and baby brother and sister.

By Mandy. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:46 PM.


How can people be so awful. God knows everyone makes mistakes and these poor people are paying the ultimate price. Let’s start blaming the animal who took this innocent child. I have 3 daughters and cannot imagine what this poor lady is going through every minute of every day. Maybe the people spouting the usual tripe should try walking a day in this lady’s shoes. This article just about broke my heart.

By bb. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:48 PM.


Reading all these comments just make me so angry. Yes they left there children but my god everyone in this world makes mistakes and if you say you don’t then your lying. It’s a very horrible incident that happened but all you can do is criticise them. They will have to live with this for the rest of thir lives don’t you think that is tough enough for them already without people making snide remarks, especially when we don’t even know the full extent of what happened/is happening, yes we’ve read this but there is much more going on. Noone in this world is the perfect person or parent, you may try to be but noone can be. I think you should look at your own lives before you start making judgements towards others. And i must say do you notice that most of the cruel messages are posted by men? well to me that says it all! Just think for a second what would it be like if this happened to you and all people did was judge you i don’t think you would like it, put yourself in thier shoes just for one second. It could happen to anyone if you go to the shops and you turn just for a second to get something and you child walks off and gets taken or wanders does that mean you are a bad parent and you neglected them?
I feel with all my heart for the family and i pray to god that Maddie will be found and reunited with her family soon.

By Sam. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:39 PM.


HEART BREAKING 🙁 JUST SO SAD…. THINKING OF YOU AND PRAYING MADDIE IS SAFE…

By Diane Hendley-osborne. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:14 PM.


I wish someone would come forward with some sort of positive clue as to Maddies whereabouts, she can’t just disappear into thin air someone somewhere knows something. Every day I check the Maddies page hoping against hope that something will have happened to make her return to her family closer. Keep strong Kate and Gerry, I hope she will be found soon.

By Lesley Kneale. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:46 PM.


Kate & Gerry,
Every day I hope , as I am sure the MAJORITY of the world do , that I will turn om my TV one morning and see that Maddie has been found.
Do not let the comments on this page from the small minded , and I am VERY sure , far from the perfect partents effect you too much.

I am shocked and saddened by the heartless , hurtful & down right nasty comments left by some ‘ Humans’ on this page.

Maybe we should ALL come and shine a spot light on YOUR family & YOUR parenting skills and see what judgements we can all come to ???

I will say the Lords Prayer for Maddie & her family tonight

By ellen. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:47 PM.


Hazel Thomas and all the rest of you evil thinking people who has had badness bread in to them
the hatered shown to the macanns is wicked
be thankful it was not you standing in the macanns shoes and pray if you CAN that Madelaine is found unharmed

By caz. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:21 PM.


The devastation that they may never see and hold their little child again must be simply unbearable. The fear and panic must be uncontrollable as they may never know what really happened to their beloved daughter. The thing is in this world there will always be negative people who say “well it’s their fault, they have no one to blame but themselves. They should not have left their kids”. I have one thing to say to these people, get some compassion and heart and join the human race. My thoughts and prayers will always be with the mccans.

By Joanna Matthews. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:05 PM.


I cannot believe how many people are taking this opportunity to pat themselves on the backs because they’d ‘never leave their kids’. This was a horrendous event. Those people should count themselves lucky that it didn’t happen to them, not start a hate campaign against a grieving mother!

The Maccans are living this nightmare every minute of every day and the British press is almost treating Kate like Heather Mills, it’s a total disgrace.

There is obviously a lot of jealousy involved, as these people were middle class and educated. (world war 2 anybody?) Even their drinking wine has now been deemed a crime.

As for the Portugese police, they were obviously irritated by the attention this story got and were worried about Portugal’s income from tourism, for them it would have been a real result if the Maccans could be held responsable. I can totally understand Kate’s anguish at being immediately regarded as a possible suspect.

I am truly ashamed of some of the stuff that is being posted here. I just hope they can ignore it. God bless you K and G, S and A, my prayers are with you and your gorgeous daughter. xx

By Lois. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:11 PM.


What a sick lot are those who blame the parents for the child’s abduction. How callous can human beings get. Is it beyond their ability to have some forgiveness in their hearts? I despair of them but at the same time hope nothing similar happens to a member of their family.

By John. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:18 PM.


I find people who post comments criticising others should look at themselves….Yes a mistake to leave the children…..but does that give someone the right to take what is not theirs…..I would love to see this family reunited…..God Bless

By brienda. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:17 PM.


god the poor darling but those children should never have been left alone.

By sharon. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:18 PM.


Pss off Jacquie, have you no compassion?? Are you ******* perfect? Have you never let your kids out of your sight – made a mistake? You will get your reward for you lack of compassion.

By linda. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:27 PM.


God Bless Maddie hope she is at peace where ever she is hope that kate and gerry are well and can find some-sort of peace and god bless there kids

P.S THERE ARE SOME SICK PEOPLE WRITING THESE COMMENTS YOU THINK THEY NEVER MADE A MISTAKE BEFORE

LETS HOPE THEY FIND MADDIE

By Mark Limerick. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:39 PM.


oh Kate if u read these messages..pleases know my thoughts are with you. I know u shouldnt of left your children alone..and now noody knows this more than you. My thoughts are with u and i have often preyed for the safe return of maddie. I have a 1 year old, and readingyour diary almost made me cry, very upsetting to think that someone has togo through this. stay strong and BELIEVE as you are doing in God. Please God, bring her home safe to her parents. to all the haters out there, back off, nobody is the perfect parent, whether your “educated” or not. Take care Mcann family..STAY STRONG!!!!

By amy day. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:40 PM.


Diary entry July 23rd surrounded by a pack of dogs, it wouldn’t be the first time dogs have killed a child, if Madeleine wandered off that evening looking for her Mum she could have been taken by this same pack, and did Mrs. Mccann have the same scent as her daughter is that why they were surrounding and frightening Mrs. Mccann during her run, this is just a theory but stranger things have happened,my heartfelt sympathy to all of Madeleines’ family.

By christine lees. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:54 PM.


Why is there an entry for Thursday May 3rd when the diary did not exist until Philomena suggested to Kate she keep one to show Madeleine how hard they searched for her ?

By geoff. Posted ??????? 14 2008 at 4:48 ??????????.


This is the kind of comment that gets my goat and it is usually this kind of person that is the most vociferous against this traumatised couple.

let me explain to you Geoff, it was written in past tense, that entry was where she started from her memory. If you cannot understand a small thing like this why comment at all?

By Margaret. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:55 PM.


I am so sorry about your daughter she is a beautiful little girl.I prey everynight that she is ok and that she will return to you asap.finkin about u both everyday.Just hope one day u will be reunited wiv her.god bless.richard.

By Richard Boyd. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:57 PM.


What sickens me is not the anguish and the normal run of emotions that Kate is going through, this is perfectly understandable, what really gets to me is the sanctimonous nonsense that has been spouted by some of the ‘perfect’ parents/people on here!
Some people need to get a compassion transplant because from an outsider looking in, some writing on here appear to be bordering on being sadistic.
Something tells me you moaning lot of whingers would just be a load of malcontents anyway.
Madeleine was abducted, her parents made a mistake, it happened they cannot change it, don’t you think they would if they could?
For heavens sak get a life some of you oh so perfect people.

By Margaret. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:45 PM.


All I think is that poor little girl Madeline is not with her family will she still remember them, yes
I think so, my little grandaughter is a day older than her and we nearly lost her at Christmas with Menengitas, none of us in our family could have coped without her, she is at the moment running around and putting on her Hanna Montana lip gloss, Kate and Gerry are missing out on all these precious things that we take for granted. No they should not have left them but how many people can hold their hands up honestley and say they have never left their children, just think you are leaving them going out into the garden when they are asleep.

By bb. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:47 PM.


I do feel sorry for the maCann while people are criticizing there are and have been a lot of people that come abroad and have left there kids at some point wether it being in their apartment while they are in the complex having a drink. They have left them to go up to their apartment to collect thing, which i have seen for years with my own eyes you get in the lift with kids from 6years onwards.3month ago an english mother left her daughter by the luggage belt while she went outside of the building to have a ciggarett. My only concern is that when people come abroad they see lovely country with blue skies, sandie beaches paradise really the local people are nice but we don?t know whats happening in these countries we all look over these. Now that europe is open to nearly everyone we all should be aware. Dont blame the maCann they saw no harm in this country. I beg you all too support them pray for them and most important the saft return of madaline. Put this evilness out of your mind what they should and shouldnt of done and support them. How many interviews they are doing they are doing for the love of their daughter who should never be forgotten. Good for them to keep madaline in the public eye she will never be forgotten be me nor will her parents. So stop your horrible selfish, bad minded comment and spare a thought for them. Reading some of them i feel sick to the stomach and hope these people feel ashame

By monica. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:59 PM.


I cannot imagine what kate&gerry are going through?WHY IS EVERYONE BLAMING THEM AND NOT THE SICKO WHO TOOK LITTLE MADELEINE? noboby is given the right to take a child harm or abuse them but it goes on in this horrible world that we live in so all you people who never leave your children i presume they never play out go to the park with their friends all you who are sick of reading it dont buy the paper all you perfect parents lets just hope it never happens to you i send my love and sympathy to the McCanns i hope little maddie is reunited with you all soon lets all pray for a good outcome may godbless you and guide maddie home were she belongs trish

By trish. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:04 PM.


I cannot imagine what kate&gerry are going through?WHY IS EVERYONE BLAMING THEM AND NOT THE SICKO WHO TOOK LITTLE MADELEINE? noboby is given the right to take a child harm or abuse them but it goes on in this horrible world that we live in so all you people who never leave your children i presume they never play out go to the park with their friends all you who are sick of reading it dont buy the paper all you perfect parents lets just hope it never happens to you i send my love and sympathy to the McCanns i hope little maddie is reunited with you all soon lets all pray for a good outcome may godbless you and guide maddie home were she belongs trish

By trish. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:12 PM


Why is there an entry for Thursday May 3rd when the diary did not exist until Philomena suggested to Kate she keep one to show Madeleine how hard they searched for her ?

By geoff. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:48 PM.


I can’t believe that somebody said “shut up woman” to Kate. What a most horrible person you must be. I am a mother and yes I have done silly things like leave the kids in the car whilst getting petrol etc. We ALL do silly things in our lives without really thinking, we all regret things we have done generally. I feel for Kate, she has been so so strong throughout this nightmare. I would have broken by now…she is caring,heartbroken individual who HAS to keep her daughter’s memory in the public eye or it will become a distant memory very quickly.We forget about people and suffering quickly in this country and are more concerned with our next mobile phone thanto show compassion for others. I will continue to pray for Madeline and her family every night…..

By Teacher. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:54 PM


I am a lone parent of a now 13 year old boy. I don’t recall ever leaving him but there were moments on holiday where he would go running off around the pool with another or looking for another child….could it just have easily have happened then, when nobody was looking? What about the times when he would be so eager to get down to the pool or the kids club in the morning before I was ready…could it have happened then? Truth is that at home I am so paranoid about my boy that he was allowed to play out, ever. Only when he hit 10 did I let him take the bus from school and even then I was on the phone on his way to the bus, on the bus, off the bus and just before he got in the front door….is it the news in the papers that has made me so necessarily paranoid?. Is the world becoming a worse place? No, we are just more aware of what goes on. I’m 49 years old and I can recall at least 4 instances of (all different) men trying things on with me before the age of 10 (two of them knew my Father!).

I was so angry with Kate and Gerry, it was so easy to say I’d never left my child, but I have, just for a moment sometimes, and thats all it takes for these determined sickos….I’m so sorry for the McCanns and for Madeleine. May fate be kind to you and make your family whole again one day.

By Jeannette Marshall. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:56 PM.


am disgusted at the inhumane comments from so called human beings.A innocent child has been gone for such a long time. yes Kate and Gerry made a mistake but their suffering is unbearable. I pray for Madeleine everyday and her parents. Class should not be an issue, finding Madeleine is the important thing and the so called police PJ have done nothing since day one. Kate and Gerry keep looking do not give up.Mum of three Anne

By Anne. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:58 PM.


The children should never, never have been left alone at night in that apartment.
Madeleine is the victim of her parent’s selfishness.
She would still be with them if they had bothered to look after their children properly by taking them with them when they went out, or by staying in the flat.

By Verity. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:19 PM.


Feel so sorry for you with your beautiful little girl still missing. There are some good positive comments here but ignore all the negative and insensitive ones – be strong and never give up hope that Madeleine will come back to you one day.

By Joanne. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:37 PM.


hope she comes home soon safe and sound. i think of the pain and heart ache you all must be going through.
who would our have thought your dream holiday would be the worst one of your life. my thoughts and wishes are with you. god bless you all x

By elaine. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:38 PM.


you all people , who are u to judge and blame the parents? everyone makes mistakes. look at the photo of M and imagine what she’s going through right now. words of support and prayer woundn’t do any harm.

By jahang. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:41 PM.


What a stupid thing for suposedly intelligent parents to do…why bother having children if you’re not going to spend your time with them/you just want your life to carry on as normal?

No-one i’ve spoken to would even consider leaving THREE small children unattended – and I hope this is a lesson to other parents who do this…

By Mel. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:48 PM.


what vitriole is aimed at the two most unfortunate parents anyone could ever know??

To say they need parenting lessons when they gave their children supper then read them bedtime stories. How many of these people writing nasty comments can say they give their own children that much love and attention??

My first instinct was that they should never have left them as i wouldn’t but their price is too much to pay.

My youngest son escaped from nursery at the end of the day and wandered off down the street. The teachers are heavily trained but i never blamed them.

We are ALL human and no-one is perfect.

Honestly take a good look at yourselves and justify your comments before you leave them.

After reading the diary (and before) i sincerely hope that Maddie is returned to her obviously very kind and loving parents.

god bless you all x x x

By kedge75. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:55 PM.


The loss of any child is a terrible thing and and the McCanns are paying a huge price for something that many parents have done at one time or another . What I dont understand is that while most parents would be tearing their hair out with fear and grief , she’s writing in her diary!.

By Christine Newmarch. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:05 PM.


The true story of the McCanns’ actions that night is clearly about to shock many. Prepare yourselves for quite extraordinary revelations in the next few months of a couple of aspirational working-class medics who simply refused to let the truth interfere with ambition. Madeleine deserved better.

By Edward. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:08 PM.


if god forbid the holiday apartment had burned down, and three young lives were lost, there would i doubt be very few people sticking up for the maccanns. those children were not capable of looking after themselfs and should therefore not have been left. it is not the same as being in your garden! it really can not be excused, the maccanns are not stupid people, they put their needs first. we do not know what has happened to maddie, or even if she was taken, so we can not go around blaming ‘monster’ that took her, the only facts are she was left.

By aj . Posted September 14 2008 at 4:11 PM.


janet it wasnt released by the mccanns it was released by the press who have access to the files

there are some small minded people on here who have not done any research but have read the diary and then decided to give their opinion

a diary is a daily record of events and thoughts this is what kate has done why are you people reading it and then complaining about the contents?

give them a break all they ask is that their daughter is returned

By leeanne. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:11 PM.


I truly hope that Madelaine is found unharmed but reading her Mothers diary is sickening, her blog June 17th, ‘How dare they insinuate that our daughter?s life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.’
All of the children were left in a dangerous situation that night……..if this had happened in Britain this couple would have been charged with neglect and cruelty.
This womans anger is more likely to be bourne of gulit. Yes, there are dangerous people in the world which is why we protect and keep our children safe.

wonder whether you are a human being or you just look like a human being ? It does not matter whether Kate and Gerry made a mistake of letting the kids on their own. It also does not matter whether the contents of the diary put you or anyone else under the impression that they were sentiment of guilt. The diary shows that Kate is agonising with a great sense of stoicism that not many mums would have maintained in situations like this. A heart of iron would not emotionally resist to those seemingly true expresions in the diary. In the absence of positive attitude, sympathy and fairness toward this unfortunate couple, please abstain from criticising them. They are clever enough to embark, when appropriate, upon self-criticism and if any.

By katie wallhead. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:37 PM.


I truly hope that Madelaine is found unharmed but reading her Mothers diary is sickening, her blog June 17th, ‘How dare they insinuate that our daughter?s life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.’
All of the children were left in a dangerous situation that night……..if this had happened in Britain this couple would have been charged with neglect and cruelty.
This womans anger is more likely to be bourne of gulit. Yes, there are dangerous people in the world which is why we protect and keep our children safe.

wonder whether you are a human being or you just look like a human being ? It does not matter whether Kate and Gerry made a mistake of letting the kids on their own. It also does not matter whether the contents of the diary put you or anyone else under the impression that they were sentiment of guilt. The diary shows that Kate is agonising with a great sense of stoicism that not many mums would have maintained in situations like this. A heart of iron would not emotionally resist to those seemingly true expresions in the diary. In the absence of positive attitude, sympathy and fairness toward this unfortunate couple, please abstain from criticising them. They are clever enough to embark, when appropriate, upon self-criticism and if any.

By katie wallhead. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:36 PM.


My heart goes out to the family, bur i would never leave my kids by them self to go and eat. I have 3 kids and never left them alone every

Maddie I think of you every day and hope to god that yr safe and well, May god watch over you and keep you safe always

By Bea Laqere. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:33 PM.


The issue here is PAEDOPHILES and just how dangerous they are.

This horror could happen to anyone’s child or baby as if a paedophile ring has chosen a child that child will be taken.

Instead of attacking the parents, why not start opening your eyes to the REAL problem which is that there are paedophiles getting away with their horrible tortures of babies and children and we are doing nothing to stop it.

Paedophiles are protected as they are more often than not, in powerful positions and people dare not speak out about their vile crimes.

This is where you should be directing your anger and thanking the press if they start writing about it.

Stop attacking the innocent and concentrate on the deprived perverts who are so well protected.

By Penny. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:33 PM.


OK YES BOTH KATE AND GERRY DID WRONG BY GOING OUT.OK BUT DON,T YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING THOUGHT ENOUGHT PAIN NOW.

By KEVIN RHODES ESSEX. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:31 PM.


The photo “pain revisited”.
Kate looks as if she is about to laugh, and Gerry is smirking.
Hilarious.

By diddy. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:25 PM


re: Penny Ward post 10.02am

HEAR HEAR!!!If you were a politician or someone with a ‘voice’ you would have my support a million times over. Unfortunately what you say is so so true and the problem is growing bigger every day?

I try and do my bit when I hear about the pathetic sentencing these evil men receive by writing letters of complaint. If enough people recognised this problem and did complain then maybe one day these criminal will get locked up forever, and the judges who dish out these small (and sometimes none) sentences will be investigated as to why they do this. After all judges are supposed to have the publics best interest at heart and having paedophile scum walking the streets proves they are not doing their jobs correct. I also have my suspicions why some judges allow paedophiles to walk free. Gary Glitter is a prime example he served a pathetic two month of a four month sentence and on his release he apologised to his ‘5 fans’ that were waiting outside the prison then went on to Vietnam to rape and torture more innocent little children.

Instead of the constant wining about the McCann?s by the minority of ppl why don?t you do something practical and try and elp put a stop to the activities of these evil men!

My heart goes out to Madeleine and her family

By eniga. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:21 PM.


Here here!!
Shouldnt have left 3 kiddies on their own – that coupled with the fact they are “educated” people!

By Doris. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:19 PM.


Kate seemed surprised at the twins vocabulory i find that intriguing, why wouldn’t you know what words your babies were saying? if you were with them daily….odd it makes it sound as if she didn’t spend much time with her children.

By ang. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:19 PM.


stay positive, keep strong and keep praying!

god bless xx

By A. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:13 PM.


I couldnt agree more — more milking from the McCanns who left 3 babies on their own – and remember not for the first time during this holiday.

We do care about Maddie and hope she is returned home safe – I for one however am sick and tired of seeing her parents faces plastered all over the media!

By D. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:11 PM.


Here here, I agree Steve, I feel so sorry for the little girl, but I’m angry towards the parents

By sonia. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:00 PM.


The thing is most people out there expect doctors to behave more responsibly towards their offspring infants instead of self centred way,foreign country even worse when you do not know what the law is like or the complete geography of the land.Not short of money to not be able for the whole group to either take 3 Nannies with them or for each family to take turns each night to make certain babies are safe in adult care they know. It’s not rocket science!

A couple decades ago i went to south of france and the amount of kerb crawlers some portuguese and men from foreign climes on the beach selling things like key rings with rude pop out bits from a small nude body when a young child was present is telling of what is out there, & youngsters find it amusing but what other things are these people into selling stuff like that, you never know.

Known fact in uk these days you cannot leave your kids alone whether infants,juniors, teenagers all are so very vulnerable and easy to lead on to goodness knows what corruption. Some people always seem throughout life to be easily led by others. There have always been latch key children around….

By ang. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:02 PM.


Here here, I agree Steve, I feel so sorry for the little girl, but I’m angry towards the parents

By sonia. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:56 PM.


They left their children alone yet AGAIN night May 3rd, despite Madeleine having asked her mother why they didn’t come when they were crying the previous night May 2nd. I had great sympathy for the McCanns at the beginning when people started criticising them……however, due to their continual criticism of the portuguese police (as if it was their fault the McCanns left their children unattended) and the comment in the DIARY JUNE 17- of the police stating “the crime scene had been contaminated – because of us” and “how dare they insinuate our daughter’s life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.” Well…sorry, but if I had neglected my very very young children to the extent of leaving them alone in the dark in an unlocked apartment in a foreign country – night after night whilst I dined with my doctor friends…and if something terrible happened….I WOULD NOT DARE to level this degree of criticism at the local police. Methinks I would keep my head down, be very humble and grateful for help offered by my host country. Does anybody know just how much this neglect case has cost the Portuguese people? HOW DARE she criticise the Portuguese police. God bless you Madeleine…may you be found safe and well and returned.

By marion UK. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:54 PM.


the only person i have compassion for is maddie she was let down by all the adults in her life by their selfish getting into their friends and leaving 3 toddlers home alone!!!

By carly. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:48 PM.


Anyone catch the grand prix? Wow. well done Vettel

By Chris. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:46 PM.


To Steve Martin are you telling us all that you should win parent of the year? Sounds like you haven’t got any children otherwise you wouldn’t be so blindly arrogant. Remember people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

By Kat. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:20 PM.


The heartless people leaving cruel, insensitive and nasty comments are scum, in my eyes. If you don’t care, don’t bother to read. You make me sick! This poor family made an error of judgement which they will be paying for their whole lives – are you all so perfect? Have some compasion.

By Julie. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:16 PM.


I am a dissabled single mum with 5 children my husband died 4 year’s ago so I am all on my own but not once have I ever gone out for a meal or even to the shop and left my children on there own if this was anyone else that had gone and left there children and gone out for a meal they would have been charged with leaving maddie on her own although my heart goes out to the Macan family they should never of left maddie on her own yes people make mistake’s but I dont feel that this was a mistake us mistake’s happen but to leave your children and go out for a meal is not a mistake I feel that someone had been watching the room and knew that there was children left on there own and this is when Maddie was taken god bless Maddie and keep her safe.How many childern go missing every year and u dont hear of them all over the t.v and paper’s god bless all the lost children and take them home th there family’s.

By Lorna Macleod. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:12 PM.


Can someone tell me why it was thought necessary to publish this Diary. Some things should remain private. I also find it incredibly self-pitying. Madeleine is the only victim here.

By JO HUTCHINSON. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:32 PM.


Absolutely heartbraking. God please return Maddie home safe and well x x x

By Katie . Posted September 14 2008 at 1:44 PM.


I am so sick of hearing about this.. yes its tragic & they will never get over it, & we will never know their pain.. but for god`s sake.. SHUT UP & get on with your life woman, you are going on & on about the same emotional rantings.. Now a diary… please did you really need to “remind” yourself that much of your whearabouts during this “tragic” time, personally I would not have the strength to log fundemental actions of my day! The whole thing “Stinks” from day one. I just hope & pray where ever she is she is safe & happy, go.. take better care of your other children & stop milking the media & public,, we do still care!

By Gill. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:43 PM.


in a way i do feel for her . she has lost somethin that can never be replaced.. but its her own falt . she should never have left her . she is a prof lady . should have known better all for the sake or dinner

By hayley. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:14 PM.


Heartbreaking for the Mccanns. Yes they did leave their kids, but they are paying the price. The diary just shows that they love their kids so much. Just remember they weren’t the only ones to leave their kids so why are they the only ones getting the grief in all this. The only thing I can’t understand is their still strong faith in god. If their was one he would never of allowed Maddie to be taken. I hope she is safe wherever she is x

By Steph Bell. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:06 PM.


Firstly, Yes the Mcanns should not have left the children unattended but nobody deserves to go through what they have and still are going through. People make mistakes sometimes. I would like to no why there seems to no longer be posters and flyers in Airports in Europe anymore? People forgotten? We visit Spain regulary and always look out just in case. We need to keep her picture in peoples memories so that one day we will find this little girl and she can be returned to her loving family.

Prayers are with the McCanns and little Madeline.

By Ailssa Hughes + Lucy Pritchard. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:04 PM.


She should have looked after her children properly. I have been abroad with my 2 year old, all pubs/restuarants accept children, no way in this world would i leave my chid/ren alone in an apartment whilst i went out drinking!!! I think it is mostly guilt but i do hope that maddie is found alive and reuniuted with her parents.

By Annette Barker. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:03 PM.


At what time of the day did she write her may 3rd entry, the whole thing seems a bid odd. people write their dairies usually at the end of the day, another well manicured peice of press.

By Chris. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:59 PM.


I am now in my mid-forties. As a young child, it was common for parents to go to a nearby entertainment spot in a holiday resort while they left their children asleep in a chalet. There wasnt the perceived dangers then that are apparent these days and when a child awoke only to tumble sleepy-eyed out of a chalet there was always someone close-by to bring them to their parent or have their parent alerted.

I can understand Kate and Gerry’s relaxed attitude while in Portugal. How many of us have left our young children asleep soundly during the summer months while we’ve gone to the ends of our gardens, for instance, pruning, weeding or just to chat with a neighbour over the garden fence? Yet that’s quite acceptable. the fact is, until we are touched with such horror, we still believe in the goodness of human nature and trust in others until we are given a reason not to.

It seems the raptor-mentality would rather focus on villifying the parents instead of focusing their attention on where it ought to be – the perpetrators who prey on children, destroying their innocence.

I sincerely hope the vitriol ceases towards Kate and Gerry, and that Madeleine is soon found and reunited with her parents.

By Janie. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:58 PM.


Oh what a drama queen,these are the ramblings of someone in denial.Those three children were left alone, defenceless ,and vunerable by the very people who should have been caring for them.

Their parents.

By mo. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:31 PM.


I cannot believe people are being so cruel. Olbviously they are all perfect parents/people themselves who never make mistakes!! This is such an awful ongoing story and my prayers are with the family as they have been all the way through this nightmare. I just pray to god that Madelaine is found safely. We all make mistakes at times and most of us can look back and thank god that everything was ok and ensure we never do it again, unfortunately in this case they will regret going to dinner for the rest of their lives. They do not need people to criticise them for this as I am sure they do this enough to themselves, they need people to give them support through this awful time.

By Mel. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:37 PM.


So heartbreakingly sad to read this I hope with all my might this has a happy ending one day very soon. Please know my thoughts, along with millions of others all over the World are all wishing you nothing but the best and keep strong xxx

By Lesley. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:36 PM.


This poor family will be vilified for the rest of their lives, we all make mistakes in life, but what people are forgetting is one very important factor here…The perpetrator is the one, if everyone minded their own business, left alone other people’s property, the child would have been exactly where she was left, safely in bed with her other siblings, hopefully fast asleep, the family and friends very evidently had a plan insitu for observing their children at regular intervals, hence, she was found missing around 10pm….Instead, wouldn’t it be much better for their souls if people gave their heartfelt sympathy, only the poor family can live with their actions of the evening in question, we ALL do things and regret them later, I am so, so sad for them, I hope GOD can help them with their faith and hopefully by some miracle little “Maddie” will be returned back home where she belongs with the loving family who brought her into this wicked world.
I am a Mother of three children, two mature and one teenager, we worry no matter what their ages are now, because let’s face it, who is safe nowadays, when two professionals go on their honeymoon and murdered in cold blood. God help us ALL. I hope with all my heart she comes home. God bless them and her two little siblings.

By LINDA WILLIAMSON. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:14 PM.


None of us has ever been there, none of us knows what they have gone through, so we have no right to judge anything they do, say, not do. I looked at my baby son every now and then in between the paragraphes, so sweetly sleeping. Cannot imagine I would lose him, cannot imagine I would lose him under those disturbing circumstances. Let us pray for Madeleine and McCanns and let us not judge them for anything they do. We offer your our sympathy and compassion, Kate and Gerry, and we’ll keep on watching.

By jana cigler. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:11 PM.


I still maintain that if these 2 parents were from a poor housing scheme with no jobs instead of being doctors, they would have been crucified by the press for going on the ***** and leaving their 3 children all alone !!!

By Brian Taylor. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:09 PM.


This poor family will be vilified for the rest of their lives, we all make mistakes in life, but what people are forgetting is one very important factor here…The perpetrator is the one, if everyone minded their own business, left alone other people’s property, the child would have been exactly where she was left, safely in bed with her other siblings, hopefully fast asleep, the family and friends very evididently had a plan insitu for observing their children at regular intervals, hence, she was found missing around 10pm….Instead, wouldn’t it be much better for their souls if people gave their heartfelt sympathy, only the poor family can live with their actions of the evening in question, we ALL do things and regret them later, I am so, so sad for them, I hope GOD can help them with their faith and hopefully by some miracle little “Maddie” will be returned back home where she belongs with the loving family who brought her into this wicked world.
I am a Mother of three children, two mature and one teenager, we worry no matter what their ages are now, because let’s face it, who is safe nowadays, when two professionals go on their honeymoon and murdered in cold blood. God help us ALL. I hope with all my heart she comes home. God bless them and her two little siblings.

By LINDA WILLIAMSON. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:07 PM.


Such sad and sorry specimens some of you are. I try to have sympathy for you but it is becoming increasingly difficult.
This diary is devastating. I hope that it helped to keep Kate sane.

By Sabot. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:00 PM.


Never before have I ever written, phoned or commented on anything printed in the media. However after reading all the comments posted I felt compelled to do so. It’s disguisting all the vile and negative comments thrown at Kate and Gerry McCann. Yes they did leave their children alone while they went for dinner in the same building complex and by God are they paying the price now. We all have made stupid mistakes in our lifes but never have we had to deal with the consequences which they have been through. Instead of anger, spite and hatred the McCann’s should be given our full support, hope and prayers and we should be hoping for the safe return of Madeline and not venting hatred towards her parents who at the end of the day are only human and our suffering enough.

By susan. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:58 AM.


To all those people leaving awful comments, you insensitive, horrible people! These poor people have lost their daughter! They shouldnt have left her, no, but does that mean that they deserve this, absolutely NOT! I hope that over a year on Maddie is found safe and well. God bless you Kate and Gerry, and all your family xx

By tracey. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:57 AM.


They made a mistake leaving their children alone – thay have already admitted that and apologised. I’ll ask one question , how many of you leave your kids in the car when you run into the shops – just as bad, if there is someone lurking it only takes a few minutes to take them.

By Andrea . Posted September 14 2008 at 11:55 AM.


Unfortunately one reaps what one sows-it’s the little girl who has suffered the most.17th July sounded arrogant,how dare KM be questioned,it is denial of Loss too much pain from guilt. It may not even be a paedophile who took her. There was a programme last year about China’s Lost Children on Ch4 and it fitted this case very much so.The man who is the Child Trafficker watches the family for few days to see patterns of daily life and once it is established that child is left home alone then one night when dark even if door locked he goes with a knife to slide through the lock and with a bag puts the child in and quickly away-however perhaps chloroform could be used over the face with cloth to silence child, then passed to a woman who is intermediate until child is not upset anymore then often transported to people who bought for several thousand pounds or whatever denomination at distances of 800 km or more-and of course traffickers can come from poor backgrounds with little education and means to feed own family. I guess by now Maddie’s image changed. I wonder if this is what happened also to Ben Needham?

By ang. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:54 AM.


Heartbreaking to read Kate’s diary. Kate is not the only parent in the world who has left her children to go a short distance away. Only yesterday outside my place of work I heard children crying I went to see what was wrong and found two young children ages about 1yr and 3yr in the back of the car all alone the front window was wound down a few inches so I shouted to them were is mummy the oldest one said he didn’t know and that she had gone these children were obviously asleep when the parents arrived but instead of waiting for the children to wake they left them in the car while they went down the road to a cafe which is where I found them.So even after what has happened to Maddie parents are still leaving children alone.

By Sandie. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:36 AM.


1 in 10 men are paedophiles? where do you get that stat from? what complete scare-mongering nonsense. How could you even arrive at a stat like that? A gallop poll in the streets – child abuse is horrific, and I’m sorry to hear you’re a victim yourself, but there is so much unchallenged rubbish spoken sometimes it beggars belief

By jonas . Posted September 14 2008 at 11:21 AM.


It’s just heart-breaking reading the entries in Kate’s diary. I cannot fathom how people can read this and STILL write cruel comments about Kate & Gerry. Yes, they were wrong to leave their children alone, do you think they do not know that? Do you think they will not wrestle with the guilt of this for the rest of their lives? Of course they will, but it cannot be changed now. We must recognise that the real wrong in Madeleine’s disappearance is the person or people who took her. If you must vent anger, vent in there.. Vent it at the person who thinks it is acceptable to steal someone else’s child.. Scum of the earth, the death sentence would be too good for these people. I sincerely hope that Madeleine is found, by some miracle alive and well and that the person who has her suffers their just desserts.

By lisa . Posted September 14 2008 at 11:12 AM.


The McCanns made a serious error of judgement but they have a lost a daughter, high price to pay, think we should all remember that.

By Allan. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:05 AM.


Well i have not got past day 1 and am already outraged!!!!! her first words the morning after her daughter was ‘abducted’ was NO SLEEP then goes on to say the police didnt offer them FOOD OR DRINK sorry but sleep ,food and drink would have been the last thing on my mind. just off to read the rest of the fairy tale.

By pat warwick. Posted September 14 2008 at 11:05 AM.


She may have been advised to keep a diary but come on did she really have the time or inclination to write just hours after discovering one of her daughters was missing

By Maggie. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:48 AM.


To all negative comments, do you really think that your preaching can hurt them more? They’ve lost their child, they are already in enough pain!
God bless you, Kate.

By Jackie. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:57 AM.


They only get sympathy because they’re
middle class.

By SB. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:53 AM.


i think they they were wrong to leave the children, however now the focus needs to be on finding maddie, not throwing blame around. nobody can punish kate any more than she is herself and will do for as long as she live’s. i am a new mum and can’t even imagine my little boy being taken from me, i don’t think i could carry on.

By Lisa. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:37 AM.


Me Me Me Me

Kate should change her name to Mimi.

And get parenting lessons.

By Porky_Pie. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:45 AM.


Why are people posting such terribly hurtful comments here?? I can only think they are less than perfect themselves…Yes these people clearly made a mistake by leaving their daughter, but what is done is done and now the priority should be finding the poor little child that has obviously been taken by some evil paedophile. I am personally the victim of child abuse. It started when I was 11 years of age and it has had such a profound effect on my entire life. I feel heartfelt sadness that another innocent little child is likely to have been subjected to the same thing. I think people should stop playing the blame game it doesn’t help and face facts! 1 in 10 men in the UK are paedophiles and its 1 in 5 in the military and these people target their victims. That was certainly the case in my situation. I am 29 now and only recently learnt to have the ability to openly talk about the situation and believe me people are less than supportive. People want to blame the McCann’s to enable them to continue to live in their perfect little safe bubble. I will continue to think of Kate and Gerry and pray that Maddie makes a safe return to her beloved parents and hope that the hurtful pathethic people out there who really have no idea what they are talking about will stop with the hurtful comments.

By Alice. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:40 AM.


firstly, kate & gerry, please ignore the hurtful and disgusting comments of some of the heartless humans above, they are like a pack of wolves, and such perfect parents who has never made any mistakes. I hope madeleine is returned to you safe and sound very very soon, dont give up hope.
and second, some people are so so very cruel, you all should be ashamed of yourselves, your slating the mccanns for leaving their children but i bet half of you dont know where your cildren are most of the time,
yes they made the worst mistake of their lives and are paying for it every minute of every day,
and i bet the most of you have never had a glass of wine to relax a little, no because your so perfect . its not the mccanns who are to blame its the man who had no right going into the apartment and worse taking someones precious little girl away from her family. tell me i suppose hes not to blame is he. YOU MAKE ME SICK YOU LOT WITH NO COMPASSION, CALL YOURSELVES FELLOW HUMANS, YEAH RIGHT

By kelsey. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:24 AM.


If she didnt leave her children….NOW poor little Maddy is suffering, I hope she is alive and well…GOD please help!

By Alya. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:12 AM.


We MUST wake up to the paedophile problem that is all around us.
What has happened to little Madelaine has happened to many children and babies and could happen to ours too.
Look at the way the horrors of the childrens home of Haut de la Garenne is being covered-up where babies and children were tortured raped and murdered and thier bodies burnt in furnaces and lime pits.
Look at the way Gary Glitter was named and shamed as a paedophile
Look at the head master who got off scott free as the Judge said it was not his fault as he was on medication and therefore was into paedophilia.

We must not allow any more cover-ups and must start protecting our children and grandchildren.

NO MORE COVER-UPS to protect those in powerful positions who are guilty and let us pray the press has the courage to NAME and SHAME even if we cannot count on our judiciary to protect the innocent from the powerful guilty.

It is only then, that we can hope no more child and baby abductions, rapes tortures and murders will occur whilst the guilty get off scot free.

It is up to us all and the press to voice our outrage at all the cover-ups that are going on which allow these things to continue unpunished.

By Penny Ward. Posted September 14 2008 at 10:02 AM.


I cannot understand or believe how unfeeling people can be. OK mistakes were made. Humans make mistakes and in some cases regret them for the rest of their lives.
I feel so much empathy for the Mc Canns, I hope things are resoved soon for them.

By Geoff Dawson. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:50 AM.


I THINK OF MADDIE EVERYDAY, MY HEART BREAKS TO THINK OF HER SO FRIGHTEND AND SCARED.
I HOPE SHE COMES HOME SAFE AND WELL SOON,AND IS NOT SUFFERING ANY PAIN .
JUST THE THOUGHT OF HER WAKEING UP TO A STRANGE FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME CRY.
ONE DAY MADDY WILL BE SAFE AND WELL AND HOME WITH HER FAMILY AGAIN.
I DO BELIEVE IT POSSIBLE ,I HAVENT GOT IT IN MY HEART TO BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE.
IF IT WAS MY CHILD I THINK I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE JUST RIPPED MY HEART FROM MY CHEST.
TAKE CARE MADDIE, AND HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON, SAFE AND WELL AND BACK WITH YOUR LOVED ONES WHOCLEARLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ANNIE X

By ANNIE. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:48 AM.


There are some unbelievably callous comments on here, made by the holier-than-thou geniuses in hindsight. Quite disgusting.
We are not always perfect – but talk about being prepared to throw the first stone ! The lack of empathy & the sanctimony is stunning.

As for the “I don’t believe it” comments – well, we should all bow before the worlds greatest armchair detectives !
Twisted beyond belief.

By Russ Nash. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:53 AM.


I have had many holidays with my daughter now 23 did not leave her alone once always came with us for meals and walks even fell asleep during meals but she was there by my side. Not alone in a room. Now 23 she will not speak to me due to divorce. Did I protect her too much? should I have given in to this easy approach to parenting.

By mac. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:41 AM.


My thoughts and prayers are with you, there will always be cruel people in this world who would condemn your actions. Please rise above all the negativity that may be directed towards yourselves.
No one can imagine the pain the anguish the desperation you have gone through which you will carry with you always. My heart goes out to you both. No one can turn back the clock not one of us is perfect we all make mistakes. If everyone in this world was filled with peace and love Maddie would still be with you. Sadly our world will never be that nice but there is a glimer of hope and I hope one day you find the answers your search for x God Bless xxxx

By Angela. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:39 AM.


I wont bother reading any of this, but I can only feel sympathy for all concerned.

By john. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:35 AM.


I see the usual heartless idiots, who can’t get past the first day are back, spewing their vile poison, and twisting Kate’s words. The PJ cocked it up, big time. Deal with it. Kate and Gerry are far better human beings than the scumbags who critisise them for making an error of judgement.

By Nigel Nessling. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:35 AM.


Please, please STOP the nasty comments! Isn’t there enough aggression in the world?? It is obvious Kate is agonising EVERY DAY over what has happened, without faceless people making vicious comments about what they did or didn’t do! The ‘locals’ of that part of Portugal were first to say “there’s never any crime here”, so why wouldn’t visitors/holidaymakers let their guard down?? The family is in pain every day, show a little compassion and if you don’t have anything nice/positive to say, don’t say anything. I pray Madeleine will be found alive, and I hope anyone remotely connected to her disappearance, or anyone having suspicions, and has read Kate’s pleas will be moved to contact them with any news. Show a little kindness in this wrotten world, PLEASE!

By Rose, Scotland. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:34 AM.


I THINK OF MADDIE EVERYDAY, MY HEART BREAKS TO THINK OF HER SO FRIGHTEND AND SCARED.
I HOPE SHE COMES HOME SAFE AND WELL SOON,AND IS NOT SUFFERING ANY PAIN .
JUST THE THOUGHT OF HER WAKEING UP TO A STRANGE FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME CRY.
ONE DAY MADDY WILL BE SAFE AND WELL AND HOME WITH HER FAMILY AGAIN.
I DO BELIEVE IT POSSIBLE ,I HAVENT GOT IT IN MY HEART TO BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE.
IF IT WAS MY CHILD I THINK I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE JUST RIPPED MY HEART FROM MY CHEST.
TAKE CARE MADDIE, AND HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON, SAFE AND WELL AND BACK WITH YOUR LOVED ONES WHOCLEARLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ANNIE X

By ANNIE. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:32 AM.


Kate was advised early on in this case, to keep a diary by Philomena McCann. She said to Kate that it would be a good idea if someone wrote down, for Madeleine, notes on everything that was happening, because we have to prove to Madeleine how much we looked for her and how much we love her. “That wee girl will be thinking, ‘They’re not looking for me. My mummy, daddy and my aunties – they don’t love me because they can’t find me’.

It tears apart everything that has been leaked by the police and selectivly printed by the Portuguese press.

By Alan. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:31 AM.


kate and gerie made a mistake when leaving the children on their own im sure that they deeply regret that now,why are so many people always so quick to slay them as parents when non of us know them personally,i have no idea how they are able to go on living and caring for their other children but they do. the only thing people should be intressted in about this case is that this little girl is found alive and well and that she hasnt been to traumatised by the ordeal,keep of the parents back and support them in there fight to find their daughter,hope and prayers with this little girl.

By kelly. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:30 AM.


I can’t get over the hate and vitriol directed against Kate here again. Where is your human sympathy for a mother with a broken heart? It doesn’t detract from sympathy everyone shares for poor Madelaine.

I’ve got my four year old daughter sat on my knee while I type this. I know Gerry would trade anything for that, and I feel for him, so much.

K & G probably have gone through hell for leaving those children that night, and will go through hell for the rest of their lives. Why add to it with hateful comments?

Also, @ DAVID ; what you going on about PUBIC?

By Steve. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:27 AM.


This little girl has touched so many people lives, I read the maddie page in the sun every day hoping someone has found her. I have 4 year old twins one of which is a little girl and i look at her and cant imagine if she was taken from us, the pain the McCanns are going through I cant even begin to imagine. We can blame them for leaving them alone, but lets not forget all the tapas 9 did it, didnt they? If this many people thought it was safe, you cant really single the McCanns out, its just so unfortunate that their child was taken. Im not saying its right to leave your kids, as we would never do it, the thought of the kids waking up and we were not there, that fear inside them of where is mummy and daddy is the first reason of why we wouldnt leave them, then kidnap, then what if they played around with electrics etc. I truly believe maddie will come home one day, whether it be next year or in years to come, someone somewhere knows something. The police over there should be ashamed, it has been handled terribly. I hope one day the McCanns get to hug and kiss maddie and once again read her a bedtime story. It just shows your never know who is watching you.

By Rachel Griffiths. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:21 AM.


Does anyone else here find the negative comments towards the McCanns a little perverse? The people leaving them seem to be really enjoying the fact that two people have lost their child and that they are suffering. Whenever I read the negative comments, I wonder if the person leaving them is a bit on the odd side. Just my two pence worth.

By Gemma H. Posted September 14 2008 at 9:18 AM.


To read this comments from some people is just unbelieavable. some people do really think they are the perfect parents. I am so glad that here in my country people know that parents make mistakes, and here we truly feel for kATE. i am a good mother but I have done mistakes! I know there is a lot of good people in England, but my god how many nasty bitter comments???? And regarding wine??? Excuse me? Anyway we continue to pray for Madeleine and her family and friends. Ignore these very sad peoples comments.They just look sad in the worlds eyes and trust me the world has noticed you!! And along with all the nice documentarys reg England its just shows that you stupid people really exists!! A lot of nice people there and they are really nice but these comments are really not from humans!!!!

from a large group of Norwegians.

By sofie lorentzsen. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:55 AM.


Very sad! However I am quite shocked that there was no comment on “why did I leave them?” or “If only we didn’t have left them on their own”! I not saying what they did is un heard of because their are hundreds of parents that leave their children whilst on holiday in a room asleep while they go and have a drink nearby, (I could not personally!)
But my main guilt would be why did I leave the children on their own?
Anyway I hope they do find her safe and well but as time goes by hopes fade. God Bless Madeleine hope your ok.

By Lindsey Holmes. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:55 AM.


WHY must you all insist on keep going on about them leaving her? the7y are not the first and won’t be the last unfotunatley…… and for god sake they paid a huge price one of which is breaking there hearts… just stop bitching about them its so perthetic if you were decent humans you’d realise there pain and STARET CONCENTRATING ONFINDING THIS LITTLE GIRL …. just have a heart and show love it sickens me to live in a wotld so un positive … perhaps we could all keep our eye out whilst on holiday this and every year she is missing

By natalie. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:53 AM.


Anyone writing words of hate and judgement must take a close look at their own lives, and if it is fault free then they may judge. It just shows that they too are corrupt in some way otherwise they would give positive comments! My heart believes in the Mccanns and they made a stupid mistake (who hasn’t) and I never doubted them for a moment. Shame on anyone who has!

By JoRo. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:52 AM.


Well people are really harsh, all i want to say is, what a nightmare this must be i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. The other point I want to make is that praying to Mary isn’t going to help read the bible and pray to Jesus he has the power not his mum. God bless you and lets hope this story has a happy ending.

By joanne cunningham. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:50 AM.


My thoughts and prayers have been with the McCanns ever since Madaleine went missing, I hope everyday that a news flash would tell us that Madaleine has been found. I refuse to be judgemental we have all made mistakes the Kate and Gerry realise they made a big one and they are paying a heartbreaking price. I will continue to pray that she will return home safe and well as miracles do happen.

By Susan t. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:47 AM.


the keystone cops would have handled the case better,ok the mcanns made a serious error of judgement but they have also been let down by the police in portugal surely they have been through enough and at the end of the day the little girl is still missing so their heartache will NEVER go away until she is found.someone, somewhere knows what happened that night and whoever this person/people are are the most evil people on gods earth to see what the parents are going through and to put madelline through whatever she has endured they must be callous and heartless.lets hope and pray that she is found soon unharmed………..

By daniel martin. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:16 AM.


If only they would admit they were wrong and stop blaming the police, maybe we would have more sympathy. One day when the twins are older they will find out why their sister went missing and that they were all left alone, whilst their parents went out and enjoyed themselves, how will those poor children feel then??

By Donna. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:26 AM.


i dont belive it

By emma. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:25 AM.


i dont belive it

By emma. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:25 AM.


I wonder what people must get out of posting negative comments towards parents already going through hell? The only negative thoughts should be directed at the the sick person that took a child away from her family. Everyones thoughts and prayers should be for Madeleine and her safe return.

By Marie. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:23 AM.


How come Kate can be so acurate about the first days, when she didn’t even have a diary?
The diary was started a few days latter when she was advised by a psychologist to do it, since it would help her to cope with the situation…

By Louy. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:21 AM.


I think this sentence just takes the biscuit.

Portuguese police had stated that the crime scene had been contaminated?because of us?and that fundamental evidence had been lost. How dare they insinuate that our daughter?s life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.

I’m afraid you did put your daughters life in danger by not being.

By cassey. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:39 AM.


Kate & Gerry please ignore the cruel messages my prayers and thoughts are with you every day and of course your little girl. I can not believe the lack of compassion and he cruelty of some people. My heart breaks for the Mcanns no one can imagine the daily agony they are going through. People are being far to judgemental, we ALL have made mistakes in the past, no parent is perfect we have all made mistakes, and thats exactly what Kate and Gerry did, made a mistake! they never ever deserved this. The police let maddie down beyond words, they were never interested in finding her. they have let her down. I hope your okay Maddie and you’ll be back where you belong, with your mummy and daddy and brother and sister very soon
xxxxxxxxxx

By Jacqueline. Posted September 14 2008 at 8:30 AM.


i often think about poor little maddie and pray she is well. as for kate and gerry i cant begin to imagine leaving my child for any length of time by himself in a strange place or even at home (he is 10).but saying that what is done is done just got to look to the future and cross fingers maddie will be returnedsafe and well.

By amanda. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:24 AM.


the whole diary things is just a piece of rubbish. looks like dining with friends is the top priority of the whole holiday schedule… great!

By Hazel Thomas. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:31 AM.


ifeel for them but it part there own fault leaving her children alone while she went out,

By lee. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:48 AM.


as much as my heart grieves for maddy I still can never understand y they left those kids on their own in a strange country! I have a young son 2 years old and it would break my heart if someone kidnapped my little boy! the McCanns need to take a long hard look in the mirror b4 they blame the police!

By Rueben Layne. Posted September 14 2008 at 7:07 AM.


Do you all honestly think for a minute that they would have left their children if they thought something would happen to them. They are now paying the price of an error of judgement and we should all be supporting them not giving them grieve….To Gerry and Kate just remember that they little girl from Italy was found safe and well so keep going strong because madeline will be found safe and well soon too…god bless

By adele. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:32 AM.


are you really telling me that her mum put in a diary…one glass of wine…

…then took time out to continue writing things that occurred…

…if she kept a diary so consistent show the last year or two years…

…the whole case is of people trying to clear themselves and not about searching for a lost kid.

…blame the portugese police, blame the parents, the tapas nine…but the kid is the one everyone should focus on.

…it’s not about who is guilty or innocent it’s about where is the child.

By sebastion. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:36 AM.


Are you sure Kate wrote that? All at once.

By tina. Posted September 14 2008 at 6:37 AM.


no mention of offering a reward for imformation good or bad news,it must help,if it’s low life that have taken her money will losen their touges,as for dairy,it’s strange,starts off as though it is not going to be read and then changes but these are strange people and have never acted like I would expect them to,like they have never broke down and blamed themselves and said things like ‘I wish I have not go out that night’ or ‘I wish I could turn the clock back’,these are the sore of things I would have expected to see in the dairy but no.

By cj keeley. Posted September 14 2008 at 5:47 AM.


This is why every nonce and perv the world over should be shot. Don’t even dare tell me they can be cured either.

By PhilM. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:28 AM.


They were in a setting that encouraged the parents to relax (and that includes their friends who also left their children as I understand it).

By Celtic. Posted September 14 2008 at 4:35 AM.


SORRY I DONT BELIEVE 1 WORD,WHY LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN,WHATS MOST IMPORTANT YOUR FRIENDS&DRINK OR YOUR CHILDREN ITS RUBBISH,YOU HAVE GOT TO REMEMBER THIS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

By DAVID. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:51 AM.


ALL FOR THE PUBIC,YOUR 15MINS OF FAME,IF YOU REALLY CARED WHY GO PUBIC

By DAVID. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:54 AM.


I hate to say it, but this is nonsensical rubbish, written by a guilt ridden woman. Sometimes wine and kids are not a good combination.

By Francesca. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:17 AM.


I find it very odd that a busy mother of three young kids would keep such a detailed diary. In the workforce, I have experienced staff keeping detailed diaries who have later laid claims of racism, bullying and so forth. I wonder why any mother would leave three little kids unsupervised in an unlocked apartment and go out on the razzle. Especially a mother who is a doctor. It is also odd that the Tapas 9 would not answer all the police questons.

By Frank Mulligan. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:47 AM.


But we have never been told why they think she was abducted? She could have woke and wandered. In 30 minutes she could have covered some distance if she was looking for her mum.

By Carla. Posted September 14 2008 at 3:02 AM.


Jacquie, I wonder whether you are a human being or you just look like a human being ? It does not matter whether Kate and Gerry made a mistake of letting the kids on their own. It also does not matter whether the contents of the diary put you or anyone else under the impression that they were sentiment of guilt. The diary shows that Kate is agonising with a great sense of stoicism that not many mums would have maintained in situations like this. A heart of iron would not emotionally resist to those seemingly true expresions in the diary. In the absence of positive attitude, sympathy and fairness toward this unfortunate couple, please abstain from criticising them. They are clever enough to embark, when appropriate, upon self-criticism and if any.

By Smain. Posted September 14 2008 at 2:28 AM.


im sorry but reading her diary just makes me more angry with the fact that they left there daughter on there own and appear to take no responsiblity for that instead blaming the portuguese police. Bottom line is they neglected her and had not concern for her welfare and will have to live with that forever

By sara. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:56 AM.


Why have the McCanns released this to the press? No doubt a sizeable sum has been donated to their “Fund”. It’s a pity the children weren’t looked after as well as the Fund has been.

By Janet. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:52 AM.


Close your ears to the hate.
Never give up hoping, never give up looking, never give up praying.
God Bless.

By Ken. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:51 AM.


Oh god not again. Don’t forget, these
people left more than one kid home alone.

By Stu. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:29 AM.


I… DON’T… BELIEVE… IT!

By victor meldrew. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:09 AM.


So heartbreakingly sad to read this I hope with all my might this has a happy ending one day very soon. Please know my thoughts, along with millions of others all over the World are all wishing you nothing but the best and keep strong xxx

By Lesley. Posted September 14 2008 at 1:08 AM.


I cried when I read Kate’s diary. It’s only her love for her Madeleine and her trust in God that is keeping her going. I cannot imagine what she has and is going through and my daily prayer is that Madeleine will be found. May the Lord be with each one of them until they are re-united.

By Ros Smith. Posted September 13 2008 at 11:57 PM.


soooooooo sad, I havent cried so much, hope someone fnds her ASAP.

By diane. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:04 AM.


I really am speechless July 17th Just broke my heart!!
they’ve got to find maddie x x x x

By becky 🙁 . Posted September 14 2008 at 12:21 AM.


I truly hope that Madelaine is found unharmed but reading her Mothers diary is sickening, her blog June 17th, ‘How dare they insinuate that our daughter?s life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.’
All of the children were left in a dangerous situation that night……..if this had happened in Britain this couple would have been charged with neglect and cruelty.
This womans anger is more likely to be bourne of gulit. Yes, there are dangerous people in the world which is why we protect and keep our children safe.

By jacquie. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:39 AM.


Perhaps she shouldn’t have been out wining and dining and at home looking after her children like most good parents do on a FAMILY holiday!

By Steve Martin. Posted September 14 2008 at 12:45 AM.


Kate’s Diary – Day 89

TUESDAY, JULY 31: (The day before police seized the diary) I got up early after another late and very disturbed night.

I dropped by the church. I feel better after these short conversations.

I cooked my first meal (since they took Madeleine!!) for dinner tonight.

Please God—make me right. Please God—protect her. Please God—bring her back to us soon!

Night, night Madeleine, by dearest little angel. My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than anything. Lots of hugs my darling. I’m going to dream that I’m lying by your side—moments I’ll always cherish and I long to have again.

Sweet dreams my little one. Be strong. Mummy XXXXX.

Kate’s Diary – Day 86

SATURDAY, JULY 28: I got up at 7.30 after a late and disturbed night of sleep.

At around 16.20 we had a dip in the Jacuzzi. Sean and Amelie loved it. After tea I went to the small church. I was a little tearful.

It’s really hard for me not to worry about the small things. I wonder does anyone brush her teeth? She looks so happy in that photo taken on that last day.

I know I’m repeating myself but I can’t stop myself from saying how much I love you, Madeleine. I’ll say it as many times as I need to. You’re so, so special. XXXXX.

Kate’s Diary – Day 83

WEDNESDAY, JULY 25: I received some bad news last night. A friend has breast cancer and has just received her first dose of chemotherapy following surgery. Horrible. I will include her in my prayers.

At around 15.30 I went for a run. I had begun to feel restless and worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work, but I felt better for having gone.

We returned at around 18.15—the children’s dinner and baths, our dinner.

(and the children’s once again!).

Madeleine, sweetheart, you are the most important thing, the only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone, sad and incomplete I feel.

I will continue to hope and pray that you come back to us soon but I don’t want to think about how good it would be to feel something like that—not yet, at least.

I love you so, so much darling. I remember sitting watching you through the glass window when you were having your swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you were with your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears rolled down my face!

I was and am still so proud of you, Madeleine, and my love for you is never-ending. I can’t stop saying how much I love you dearly. I’m going to try and stay strong for you and you have to do the same. You know we love you and we are going to keep going until we find you again.

All my love, Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well. May God protect you. XXXXX.

Kate’s Diary – Day 82

TUESDAY, JULY 24: Sean and Amelie had lots of fun in the Jacuzzi—laughter galore! Carrot sticks and crisps were had by all at teatime.

Oh, darling Madeleine. It pains me to think of you—it causes me such sorrow and I have no idea how you feel. I pray to God that you are well, that you are not hurt. I pray that God keeps you safe and sound and that you’re not afraid, nor in pain.

Please God, answer my prayers and please, please, please bring Madeleine back to us very soon, for our own happiness. Please God.

Madeleine, sweetheart, I love you so much. I can’t stop saying it. Night, night darling. We will keep hoping and having faith in God. XXXXXXX.

Restless

Kate’s Diary – Day 81

MONDAY, JULY 23: I got up at 7.00 and went running. I was surrounded by a pack of dogs (more or less 12)—it really wasn’t a nice experience. I went to the flat, high part of the cliff as I felt really alone and a little frightened. Please God, don’t let Madeleine be buried here. Please God, make sure she’s alive. Please God, bring her back quickly to us.

I took S and A to the Kids’ Club at 9.45 then I went to church to pray a little on my own.

Every single moment of happiness with Sean and Amelie, who are both so delightful, is mixed with deep sadness. All I want is Madeleine to be safe and happy again.

Baths, stories and some bedtime chaos from Sean and Amelie before I finally put them to bed at 21.15.

I spent some time on the internet reading about Sarah Payne (Roy Whiting), Eliz. Smart (Brian Mitchell) and the Peter Voisey case (he abducted a six-year-old girl from the bath in North Tyneside). Really horrible.

Night, night sweetheart. I’m trying to be positive. I need to be because I need to believe that you’re going to come back to me, so I can go back to being truly happy. I love you XXX.

Kate’s Diary – Day 79

SATURDAY, JULY 21: I continue to feel very low. I miss Madeleine so much. It’s as if a ray of light has disappeared from my life. There’s no doubt that Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words can say.

We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain?

My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord? My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate being without you.

(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)

If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read “Mog” in the living area and then “if you’re happy and you know it”. We all sat down on your bed.

Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages…always laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX

Kate’s Diary – Day 76

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18: It was suggested that Madeleine is dead and buried in an area close to the beach, behind the cliff.

What can I say? I feel my body’s on the verge of collapse. How much pain and emotion can one body take? I had a bad afternoon. I was very worried, desperate, extremely on edge. I don’t think I can take any more of this, I really can’t. How much longer will this suffering go on? I need Madeleine ALIVE.

Kate’s Diary – Day 75

TUESDAY, JULY 17: Finding it very difficult to talk to people from home, unless they are directly involved. It is difficult to show an interest in other people’s lives and children at the moment. I know it sounds horrible, selfish and egocentric, but at the moment I can only think about Madeleine. I don’t want to hear about anyone having babies or getting pregnant (mainly because it was all so very difficult for us). I’m worried about turning into a bitter, angry woman, that would be horrible. Please God bring Madeleine back and let this nightmare end.

Please don’t let our lives be destroyed by this. Please don’t let them hurt Madeleine.

Earlier today I found Amelie in our room looking at photos of Madeleine and she said: “I miss my sister. Where’s my sister?”

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t realise Amelie’s vocabulary and use of words was so good. I just said: “I miss her too. We’ll find her soon.” What a little sweetheart!

She then turned her attention to something else.

We took turns jumping into the water with the kids, which was great fun. After a DVD and a story it was the twins’ bedtime which didn’t take too long tonight. Madeleine, we are all with you darling.

Keep strong, be patient, we’ll keep on going till we find you. I love you so much. We hope and pray we’ll see you soon.

Goodnight, my darling. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.